There are two sides of breaking up: one aspect is not so good or pleasant and the other side can be a “blessing-in-disguise”.
Let’s take the “not-so-good” aspect first. Breaking up from a committed or long-term relationship is very much like experiencing grief and going through the same grieving stages one experiences when the grim-reaper has claimed one of their loved ones.
In either situation, the reality soon sets in. And, one is left to face loneliness, the loss of companionship, the touching experience of affectionate hugs, etc.
Like many things in life, the grief associated with breaking up can be like the glass of water that is half empty or half full. I have known many people who seem to enjoy their pain and anguish as they live and re-live their “poor me” story.
After one has recovered from the shock and trauma of breaking up; one can heal very nicely by realizing that breaking up is in the best interest of both parties. If this were not the case, it wouldn’t have happened.
Why do we cling to something that will only bring us unhappiness? Is it because any change of this nature takes us out of our comfort zone? But to remain in this “so-called” comfort zone, we become static. Apathy, with all its depression, despair, and other negative attributes, actually becomes our way of life.
Life goes on and will pass us by if we continue to dwell on the past and dream about of what might have been. As I stated before, in all probability, breaking up is a “blessing-in-disguise”. Remember, even if you don’t think so now, “Everything in life truly happens for the best.”
Now is the time for you to acquire new friends and new interests. Be happy and joy your new freedom.
Refine Your Reality
Spiritual Laws, Quantum Physics, Massive Transformation
Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
What do The "Seven Deadly Sins" Have to Do with Self Improvement?
As I have previously stated in a prior article in this blog, entitled “Why do we need self-improvement anyway?” self improvement generally refers to improving one’s peace of mind by eliminating stress and anxiety. The stress and anxiety can be found within our intellectual, emotional, psychological or spiritual levels of our life or in any combination thereof.
Many people turn to their religious faith for their guidance. There is a strong parallel in whatever religious teaching we [meaning you or I] have chosen to follow. All religious teachings provide us with moral codes and other ethical guidelines that are essential to live in peace and harmony within our community.
According to Wikipedia; the “Seven Deadly Sins”, a classification of “Cardinal Sins” has been used since early times by the Christian Church. The “Seven Deadly Sins” are usually defined as anger, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony.
I think it is interesting to note that when we examine our emotional drives of apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger and pride, we find that the “Seven Deadly Sins” actually correlate with our emotional drives. So now, we can look at the “Seven Deadly Sins” in a somewhat different way; the manner they relate to the things that drive us emotionally. For instance:
Apathy includes sloth in addition to the emotional feelings of depression, being overwhelmed, powerless, etc;
Grief stands alone. One will continue to grieve until one can let go of the past and accept the challenges of the present moment with joy.
Fear, which includes the emotional feelings of anxiety and worry;
Lust including greed, gluttony and envy;
Anger, which also includes defiance, frustration, impatience, rage, rebellion, resentment, stubbornness, etc.
Pride, which incorporates the feelings of arrogance, dogmatism, hypocriticism, judgment, selfishness, stubbornness, etc.
Here’s some other interesting tidbits to for you to think about:
Five of the six categories listed above are emotional drives.
The emotional categories of lust, anger, and pride are identified as one of the “Seven Deadly Sins”
Lust is the most significant emotion in the list of the “Seven Deadly Sins” as greed, gluttony and envy are all attributes of lust.
Therefore, it is my belief that this would imply most of our emotional attachments are considered as sins in the eyes of the Christian Church.
Thus, it should stand to reason, that religious teachings are, indeed, important guides to self-improvement and that there is a strong correlation between religion and self-improvement.
Many people turn to their religious faith for their guidance. There is a strong parallel in whatever religious teaching we [meaning you or I] have chosen to follow. All religious teachings provide us with moral codes and other ethical guidelines that are essential to live in peace and harmony within our community.
According to Wikipedia; the “Seven Deadly Sins”, a classification of “Cardinal Sins” has been used since early times by the Christian Church. The “Seven Deadly Sins” are usually defined as anger, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony.
I think it is interesting to note that when we examine our emotional drives of apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger and pride, we find that the “Seven Deadly Sins” actually correlate with our emotional drives. So now, we can look at the “Seven Deadly Sins” in a somewhat different way; the manner they relate to the things that drive us emotionally. For instance:
Apathy includes sloth in addition to the emotional feelings of depression, being overwhelmed, powerless, etc;
Grief stands alone. One will continue to grieve until one can let go of the past and accept the challenges of the present moment with joy.
Fear, which includes the emotional feelings of anxiety and worry;
Lust including greed, gluttony and envy;
Anger, which also includes defiance, frustration, impatience, rage, rebellion, resentment, stubbornness, etc.
Pride, which incorporates the feelings of arrogance, dogmatism, hypocriticism, judgment, selfishness, stubbornness, etc.
Here’s some other interesting tidbits to for you to think about:
Five of the six categories listed above are emotional drives.
The emotional categories of lust, anger, and pride are identified as one of the “Seven Deadly Sins”
Lust is the most significant emotion in the list of the “Seven Deadly Sins” as greed, gluttony and envy are all attributes of lust.
Therefore, it is my belief that this would imply most of our emotional attachments are considered as sins in the eyes of the Christian Church.
Thus, it should stand to reason, that religious teachings are, indeed, important guides to self-improvement and that there is a strong correlation between religion and self-improvement.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
How to Make Success Not Just Obtainable but Sustainable
Each of us has a fundamental need to consistently improve our life. Our self satisfaction continues to grow as we feel that we are contributing to the well being of our family members, friends and our community through our influence and actions.
However, it is very easy to become a victim of the materialistic value belief that says the more you own the more power you have to influence others. It is unfortunate that this often becomes the benchmark we use to judge our personal success. Then we become complacent, thinking that once we have everything we our life will be perfect and filled with happiness.
But then there is the “gap effect” part of your subconscious that is always prodding you to strive for the next level. Are you on this “wheel” that that spins on its axle and goes nowhere?
Do I need to add that this is like the computer virus that can bring your computer to a halt? Likewise, this insatiable drive can bring you to a halt both emotionally and/or spiritually.
If you should need further evidence of this, look at the news items relating to the current suicides that take place frequently such as the top fashion models, the immediate family member of international political figures or “fallen” community leaders.
Were you aware that the word “success” comes from Latin and means “to advance” or “to improve”. This implies that success is a continuing process and not a “means to an end”. Stated a different way, success allows you a better quality of life; thus, moving you forward to having a better life experience. This was my lesson for the day.
This brings us to the “sustainable” concept of success.
It is impossible to sustain “inner peace” when you depend on other people or external things to make you happy. The feeling of happiness comes from the enjoyment of external things, things outside of you; and therefore, is temporary. I recommend that you stop and ponder what your feelings would be if other people were suddenly removed from your life and/or you lost your possessions.
Nor can you achieve any level of sustainable success without developing some changes in your attitude. This requires that you honestly examine and listen to your inner feelings. It is imperative that you get acquainted with yourself, i.e., “Know thyself.” And, then, endeavor to accept yourself as you are and to fall in love with that wonderful being.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!
However, it is very easy to become a victim of the materialistic value belief that says the more you own the more power you have to influence others. It is unfortunate that this often becomes the benchmark we use to judge our personal success. Then we become complacent, thinking that once we have everything we our life will be perfect and filled with happiness.
But then there is the “gap effect” part of your subconscious that is always prodding you to strive for the next level. Are you on this “wheel” that that spins on its axle and goes nowhere?
Do I need to add that this is like the computer virus that can bring your computer to a halt? Likewise, this insatiable drive can bring you to a halt both emotionally and/or spiritually.
If you should need further evidence of this, look at the news items relating to the current suicides that take place frequently such as the top fashion models, the immediate family member of international political figures or “fallen” community leaders.
Were you aware that the word “success” comes from Latin and means “to advance” or “to improve”. This implies that success is a continuing process and not a “means to an end”. Stated a different way, success allows you a better quality of life; thus, moving you forward to having a better life experience. This was my lesson for the day.
This brings us to the “sustainable” concept of success.
It is impossible to sustain “inner peace” when you depend on other people or external things to make you happy. The feeling of happiness comes from the enjoyment of external things, things outside of you; and therefore, is temporary. I recommend that you stop and ponder what your feelings would be if other people were suddenly removed from your life and/or you lost your possessions.
Nor can you achieve any level of sustainable success without developing some changes in your attitude. This requires that you honestly examine and listen to your inner feelings. It is imperative that you get acquainted with yourself, i.e., “Know thyself.” And, then, endeavor to accept yourself as you are and to fall in love with that wonderful being.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Happy New Year!!
To close 2010 appropriately, I wish to share 11 tips on How To Stay Young that were sent to me by a dear friend:
1. Throw out non-essential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.
That's why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever...
Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen.
Endure, grieve and move on.
The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love...
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health.
If it is good, preserve it.
If is is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people around you that you love them at every opportunity.
11. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER
Life is not measured by the breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
I hope you will share this message with someone...
We all need to live life to its fullest each day.
1. Throw out non-essential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.
That's why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever...
Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen.
Endure, grieve and move on.
The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love...
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health.
If it is good, preserve it.
If is is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people around you that you love them at every opportunity.
11. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER
Life is not measured by the breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
I hope you will share this message with someone...
We all need to live life to its fullest each day.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Obstacles to Self Improvement-A Review of Parts of 1 and 2 of 6 Obstacles
Good Morning and Welcome Back!
In my previous posts, I have talked about talked about the various aspects of apathy and grief [parts 1 and 2]. What these two emotions have in common is that they concern the past.
You might argue with me that you are feeling overwhelmed and stuck right now. You do have a legitimate observation. However, let me point out, that your current feelings are the result of experiences that have occurred in the past.
Somehow, we have to change our actions and feelings that are based on past experience. It is often said, "Change your attitude [in this case, unconscious habits/recalled experiences] and you will change your life."
You might even ponder this truism as lighted candle in a darkened room. If you accept the truth of this, it might even become one of those "AHAH! moments" that will forever change your life.
To fully understand the "Obstacles to Self Improvement" demands a great deal of determined/passionate "self-searching" and being honest with yourself without being judgmental.
I have spent almost 50 years to acquire the wisdom I am sharing [and attempting to articulate] with you in this blog. Whatever your reactions are; at the very least, you now able to evaluate [or be aware] of your own emotions and how they affect your daily life.
Do Celebrate your Life with Gratitude and Unconditional Love. And, Have a Wondrous and Glorious Week until we meet here again.
In my previous posts, I have talked about talked about the various aspects of apathy and grief [parts 1 and 2]. What these two emotions have in common is that they concern the past.
You might argue with me that you are feeling overwhelmed and stuck right now. You do have a legitimate observation. However, let me point out, that your current feelings are the result of experiences that have occurred in the past.
Somehow, we have to change our actions and feelings that are based on past experience. It is often said, "Change your attitude [in this case, unconscious habits/recalled experiences] and you will change your life."
You might even ponder this truism as lighted candle in a darkened room. If you accept the truth of this, it might even become one of those "AHAH! moments" that will forever change your life.
To fully understand the "Obstacles to Self Improvement" demands a great deal of determined/passionate "self-searching" and being honest with yourself without being judgmental.
I have spent almost 50 years to acquire the wisdom I am sharing [and attempting to articulate] with you in this blog. Whatever your reactions are; at the very least, you now able to evaluate [or be aware] of your own emotions and how they affect your daily life.
Do Celebrate your Life with Gratitude and Unconditional Love. And, Have a Wondrous and Glorious Week until we meet here again.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Obstacles to Self Improvement-Part 2 of 6
Good Morning and Welcome Back
Last week's blog concerned the feelings of being overwhelmed or stuck and how you can change them into challenges. One emotion that is often the basis of feeling overwhelmed is grief.
Today, I would like to focus this blog on some of the attributes associated with grief. Grief is not just concerning the loss or mourning of a loved one. It is about losing anything you felt that you possessed or enjoyed the experience of having; for example, your job, your house, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, or an unrealized dream.
While I was researching material for this article, I was surprised, almost shocked, to learn that being ashamed and being guilty are also included with feelings of grief. However, when you think about it, this does make sense; you have awakened to a reality of your imperfection.
Grief, including 50+ associated feelings, does not serve you. And what does not serve you is an Untruth.
"How can I stop my grief?" you ask. [At least, I hope you are asking this question.] Grief is holding on to something in your past and through the habit of remembering, you continue to live in the past. There is no way you can move forward in your life while you cling to the past.
I would like for you to take several slow deep breaths and focus on this reality, "I am right here right now."
By ardently practicing this one rule, you can change your thoughts; thereby awakening a change in your attitude, and most importantly, a change in your life.
Take good care and have a Wondrous and Glorious Week until we meet here again.
Last week's blog concerned the feelings of being overwhelmed or stuck and how you can change them into challenges. One emotion that is often the basis of feeling overwhelmed is grief.
Today, I would like to focus this blog on some of the attributes associated with grief. Grief is not just concerning the loss or mourning of a loved one. It is about losing anything you felt that you possessed or enjoyed the experience of having; for example, your job, your house, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, or an unrealized dream.
While I was researching material for this article, I was surprised, almost shocked, to learn that being ashamed and being guilty are also included with feelings of grief. However, when you think about it, this does make sense; you have awakened to a reality of your imperfection.
Grief, including 50+ associated feelings, does not serve you. And what does not serve you is an Untruth.
"How can I stop my grief?" you ask. [At least, I hope you are asking this question.] Grief is holding on to something in your past and through the habit of remembering, you continue to live in the past. There is no way you can move forward in your life while you cling to the past.
I would like for you to take several slow deep breaths and focus on this reality, "I am right here right now."
By ardently practicing this one rule, you can change your thoughts; thereby awakening a change in your attitude, and most importantly, a change in your life.
Take good care and have a Wondrous and Glorious Week until we meet here again.
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