Breaking Up Is Not Easy

There are two sides of breaking up: one aspect is not so good or pleasant and the other side can be a “blessing-in-disguise”.

Let’s take the “not-so-good” aspect first. Breaking up from a committed or long-term relationship is very much like experiencing grief and going through the same grieving stages one experiences when the grim-reaper has claimed one of their loved ones.

In either situation, the reality soon sets in. And, one is left to face loneliness, the loss of companionship, the touching experience of affectionate hugs, etc.

Like many things in life, the grief associated with breaking up can be like the glass of water that is half empty or half full. I have known many people who seem to enjoy their pain and anguish as they live and re-live their “poor me” story.

After one has recovered from the shock and trauma of breaking up; one can heal very nicely by realizing that breaking up is in the best interest of both parties. If this were not the case, it wouldn’t have happened.

Why do we cling to something that will only bring us unhappiness? Is it because any change of this nature takes us out of our comfort zone? But to remain in this “so-called” comfort zone, we become static. Apathy, with all its depression, despair, and other negative attributes, actually becomes our way of life.

Life goes on and will pass us by if we continue to dwell on the past and dream about of what might have been. As I stated before, in all probability, breaking up is a “blessing-in-disguise”. Remember, even if you don’t think so now, “Everything in life truly happens for the best.”

Now is the time for you to acquire new friends and new interests. Be happy and joy your new freedom.

What do The "Seven Deadly Sins" Have to Do with Self Improvement?

As I have previously stated in a prior article in this blog, entitled “Why do we need self-improvement anyway?” self improvement generally refers to improving one’s peace of mind by eliminating stress and anxiety. The stress and anxiety can be found within our intellectual, emotional, psychological or spiritual levels of our life or in any combination thereof.

Many people turn to their religious faith for their guidance. There is a strong parallel in whatever religious teaching we [meaning you or I] have chosen to follow. All religious teachings provide us with moral codes and other ethical guidelines that are essential to live in peace and harmony within our community.

According to Wikipedia; the “Seven Deadly Sins”, a classification of “Cardinal Sins” has been used since early times by the Christian Church. The “Seven Deadly Sins” are usually defined as anger, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony.

I think it is interesting to note that when we examine our emotional drives of apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger and pride, we find that the “Seven Deadly Sins” actually correlate with our emotional drives. So now, we can look at the “Seven Deadly Sins” in a somewhat different way; the manner they relate to the things that drive us emotionally. For instance:

 Apathy includes sloth in addition to the emotional feelings of depression, being overwhelmed, powerless, etc;
 Grief stands alone. One will continue to grieve until one can let go of the past and accept the challenges of the present moment with joy.
 Fear, which includes the emotional feelings of anxiety and worry;
 Lust including greed, gluttony and envy;
 Anger, which also includes defiance, frustration, impatience, rage, rebellion, resentment, stubbornness, etc.
 Pride, which incorporates the feelings of arrogance, dogmatism, hypocriticism, judgment, selfishness, stubbornness, etc.

Here’s some other interesting tidbits to for you to think about:

 Five of the six categories listed above are emotional drives.
 The emotional categories of lust, anger, and pride are identified as one of the “Seven Deadly Sins”
 Lust is the most significant emotion in the list of the “Seven Deadly Sins” as greed, gluttony and envy are all attributes of lust.

Therefore, it is my belief that this would imply most of our emotional attachments are considered as sins in the eyes of the Christian Church.

Thus, it should stand to reason, that religious teachings are, indeed, important guides to self-improvement and that there is a strong correlation between religion and self-improvement.

Stressed = Desserts [spelled backward]

Do you ever wonder if this why so many of have problems being overweight?

It is a well-known fact that stress is the source of a multitude of chronic health problems ranging from:

 Heart trouble
 Panic/anxiety attacks
 Angina or heartburn
 Severe Depression
 Irritable Bowel Syndrome
 Hypoglycemia
 Apathy leading chronic fatigue
 Migraine headaches
 Insomnia

Common Causes of Stress

We are literally bombarded with stressful information, whether from the global news of natural or man-made catastrophes; the national news coverage of civil unrest and/or political confrontation and/or economic downturns; or local news coverage echoing the above events that are occurring on the local scene.

Then to offset this, the Madison Avenue media expose us to all the hyped-up products designed to make us rich, beautiful, happy in addition to solving all our problems – for a price. It used to be that one could turn off the television and avoid most of this noise. Now, it has invaded the Internet with its obnoxious pop-up ads and blaring videos.

Stop Stress Now!!

Any feeling that creates a contradiction in and to your feeling of contentment [stress] is an “untruth” and does not serve you. It is just like the virus that infects your computer. Hit the delete key!!

Another way to look at stress is to equate it with confused imagination.

Control Your Exposure to Stress

You can control your exposure a small amount of stress by taking some part in some of the following actions:

 Turn off the TV. I permanently turned off my TV over ten years ago and have never missed the “noise”.
 Turn on your favorite music.
 Go for a walk whenever you feel “stressed out”.
 Visit the library or bookstore. Some bookstores even have coffee shops.
 Start small “de-cluttering” projects. Hold a garage sale or donate unused items to your favorite charity thrift shops.
 Treat yourself by brewing a special cup of tea or coffee and grab a good book to read, if only for a few minutes while the house is quiet.
 Start a craft project you enjoy such as needlepoint, knitting, updating photo albums, etc.

How to Avoid Stress

The best way to avoid stress is to “Live in this moment only, RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW.” The means observe where you are in your current feelings and surroundings without judgment and accept this present moment “Just as it is” with out fear about the future. This moment of RIGHT NOW is all there is.

Disciplining your conscious mind to relax into this mode of thought is THE MOST effective way to avoid stress “period”.

Until we meet again--Have a Wondrous and Glorious Week

Obstacles to Self Improvement-A Review of Parts of 1 and 2 of 6 Obstacles

Good Morning and Welcome Back!

In my previous posts, I have talked about talked about the various aspects of apathy and grief [parts 1 and 2]. What these two emotions have in common is that they concern the past.

You might argue with me that you are feeling overwhelmed and stuck right now. You do have a legitimate observation. However, let me point out, that your current feelings are the result of experiences that have occurred in the past.

Somehow, we have to change our actions and feelings that are based on past experience. It is often said, "Change your attitude [in this case, unconscious habits/recalled experiences] and you will change your life."

You might even ponder this truism as lighted candle in a darkened room. If you accept the truth of this, it might even become one of those "AHAH! moments" that will forever change your life.

To fully understand the "Obstacles to Self Improvement" demands a great deal of determined/passionate "self-searching" and being honest with yourself without being judgmental.

I have spent almost 50 years to acquire the wisdom I am sharing [and attempting to articulate] with you in this blog. Whatever your reactions are; at the very least, you now able to evaluate [or be aware] of your own emotions and how they affect your daily life.

Do Celebrate your Life with Gratitude and Unconditional Love. And, Have a Wondrous and Glorious Week until we meet here again.