There are two sides of breaking up: one aspect is not so good or pleasant and the other side can be a “blessing-in-disguise”.
Let’s take the “not-so-good” aspect first. Breaking up from a committed or long-term relationship is very much like experiencing grief and going through the same grieving stages one experiences when the grim-reaper has claimed one of their loved ones.
In either situation, the reality soon sets in. And, one is left to face loneliness, the loss of companionship, the touching experience of affectionate hugs, etc.
Like many things in life, the grief associated with breaking up can be like the glass of water that is half empty or half full. I have known many people who seem to enjoy their pain and anguish as they live and re-live their “poor me” story.
After one has recovered from the shock and trauma of breaking up; one can heal very nicely by realizing that breaking up is in the best interest of both parties. If this were not the case, it wouldn’t have happened.
Why do we cling to something that will only bring us unhappiness? Is it because any change of this nature takes us out of our comfort zone? But to remain in this “so-called” comfort zone, we become static. Apathy, with all its depression, despair, and other negative attributes, actually becomes our way of life.
Life goes on and will pass us by if we continue to dwell on the past and dream about of what might have been. As I stated before, in all probability, breaking up is a “blessing-in-disguise”. Remember, even if you don’t think so now, “Everything in life truly happens for the best.”
Now is the time for you to acquire new friends and new interests. Be happy and joy your new freedom.
Refine Your Reality
Spiritual Laws, Quantum Physics, Massive Transformation
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Do You Have A Dream?
What do you think about when you see or hear the word, dream?
Like many people living in the US, I recall Dr. Martin Luther’s famous speech in which he emphatically states, “I have a dream.” In this instance, it was a motivational “call to arms” directed to the victims of social bias to have the courage to stand up and claim their rights of freedom to the “good life”.
Many other people are concerned about the meaning of the dreams they experience while sleeping. They pay a great deal of attention to the various possible meanings of their dreams, even to the extent of spending a lot of money for self hypnosis programs and/or other literature to learn how to interpret their dreams.
As a layman, I believe our fascination with dreams is a part of our evolutionary heritage similar to fear. Much of the mythology, that shapes our lives today, was based on the dreams/visions of the Shaman.
And, my belief is basically supported by Wikipedia, and I quote: “Throughout history, people have sought meaning in dreams or divination through dreams.”
Wikipedia goes on to say, “Dreams have also been described physiologically as a response to neural processes during sleep; psychologically as reflections of the subconscious; and spiritually as messages from gods, the deceased, predictions of the future, or from the Soul. Many cultures practice dream incubation with the intention of cultivating dreams that are prophetic or contain messages from the divine.”
It is these thoughts about the meaning of dreams; divination through dreams and about the relationship of dreams and spirituality that captures the commercial entrepreneur’s interest and subsequent exploitation.
Some entrepreneurs feel that lucid dreaming holds an important key to one’s life. Accordingly, programs and audio CDs have been created to help clients/customers to develop and incorporate this strategy as a daily practice.
One form of lucid dreaming involves the dream of absent-minded transgression (DAMT). This is a dream where the dreamer absentmindedly performs an action that they have been trying to stop. Sometimes they experience feelings of intense guilt. My own experience of the phenomenon occurred several years after I quit smoking. Occasionally, I would wake up sitting at the edge of the bed smelling and tasting the pleasure of a cigarette. It was so realistic, I was not sure whether it was a dream or a real experience.
Dream recall is a skill that can be acquired through training and is often used in psychotherapy with the patient being required to maintain a dream journal. Thus, some entrepreneurs feel that being able to recall dreams is important and so a new market for dream recall training books, audio CDs and dream journal diaries has been created to satisfy this desire for personal growth.
According to surveys, many people feel that their dreams serve to predict their future. Psychologists explain this as selective memory. We remember the good dreams and quickly forget the “bad” dreams. Experiments have been conducted that support this theory.
The beginning of this article described dreams as being [physiological] responses to neural processes during sleep and [psychologically] as reflections of our subconscious.
It is important to remember that when and if you decide to attempt to interpret your dreams, you do so for your own entertainment and to perhaps satisfy your own curiosity about “Who you really are.” There is great debate as to whether or not self-hypnosis, bi-neural beats, and other technologies are effective tools in helping to achieve this knowledge of ourselves or are they like placebos?
Like many people living in the US, I recall Dr. Martin Luther’s famous speech in which he emphatically states, “I have a dream.” In this instance, it was a motivational “call to arms” directed to the victims of social bias to have the courage to stand up and claim their rights of freedom to the “good life”.
Many other people are concerned about the meaning of the dreams they experience while sleeping. They pay a great deal of attention to the various possible meanings of their dreams, even to the extent of spending a lot of money for self hypnosis programs and/or other literature to learn how to interpret their dreams.
As a layman, I believe our fascination with dreams is a part of our evolutionary heritage similar to fear. Much of the mythology, that shapes our lives today, was based on the dreams/visions of the Shaman.
And, my belief is basically supported by Wikipedia, and I quote: “Throughout history, people have sought meaning in dreams or divination through dreams.”
Wikipedia goes on to say, “Dreams have also been described physiologically as a response to neural processes during sleep; psychologically as reflections of the subconscious; and spiritually as messages from gods, the deceased, predictions of the future, or from the Soul. Many cultures practice dream incubation with the intention of cultivating dreams that are prophetic or contain messages from the divine.”
It is these thoughts about the meaning of dreams; divination through dreams and about the relationship of dreams and spirituality that captures the commercial entrepreneur’s interest and subsequent exploitation.
Some entrepreneurs feel that lucid dreaming holds an important key to one’s life. Accordingly, programs and audio CDs have been created to help clients/customers to develop and incorporate this strategy as a daily practice.
One form of lucid dreaming involves the dream of absent-minded transgression (DAMT). This is a dream where the dreamer absentmindedly performs an action that they have been trying to stop. Sometimes they experience feelings of intense guilt. My own experience of the phenomenon occurred several years after I quit smoking. Occasionally, I would wake up sitting at the edge of the bed smelling and tasting the pleasure of a cigarette. It was so realistic, I was not sure whether it was a dream or a real experience.
Dream recall is a skill that can be acquired through training and is often used in psychotherapy with the patient being required to maintain a dream journal. Thus, some entrepreneurs feel that being able to recall dreams is important and so a new market for dream recall training books, audio CDs and dream journal diaries has been created to satisfy this desire for personal growth.
According to surveys, many people feel that their dreams serve to predict their future. Psychologists explain this as selective memory. We remember the good dreams and quickly forget the “bad” dreams. Experiments have been conducted that support this theory.
The beginning of this article described dreams as being [physiological] responses to neural processes during sleep and [psychologically] as reflections of our subconscious.
It is important to remember that when and if you decide to attempt to interpret your dreams, you do so for your own entertainment and to perhaps satisfy your own curiosity about “Who you really are.” There is great debate as to whether or not self-hypnosis, bi-neural beats, and other technologies are effective tools in helping to achieve this knowledge of ourselves or are they like placebos?
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
An Old Man Who is Young!
From: Sugna Tolani
Subject: Fw: An Old Man Who is Young! ( PLZ 4WARD 2 AS MANY PPL AS U CAN )
Subject: An Old Man Who is Young!
I felt this one should be shared. I love each of you and I want you to know that this day. We never know what tomorrow will bring; case in point - Japan.
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in GRASS VALLEY, CA. it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Missouri.
The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Man...
What do you see nurses? . . .. . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. . . . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . .. with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . .. . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons . . .. . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . . . and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . . Look closer . .. . see ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.
We will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart ……. The “spirit” within ………
Subject: Fw: An Old Man Who is Young! ( PLZ 4WARD 2 AS MANY PPL AS U CAN )
Subject: An Old Man Who is Young!
I felt this one should be shared. I love each of you and I want you to know that this day. We never know what tomorrow will bring; case in point - Japan.
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in GRASS VALLEY, CA. it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.
Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Missouri.
The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.
And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.
Crabby Old Man...
What do you see nurses? . . .. . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. . . . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . .. with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . who love one another.
A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . .. . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons . . .. . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . . . and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . . Look closer . .. . see ME!!
Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.
We will all, one day, be there, too!
PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM
The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart ……. The “spirit” within ………
Thursday, March 10, 2011
How to Bond on Your First Date
How to bond on your first date presents a few challenges, one or which is the importance of initiating physical contact levels of acceptable touching.
It is essential when meeting a person of interest face-to-face for the first time to establish a basic level of acceptable and mutual touching. This touching contact is essential and goes a long way in establishing the desired bond between you and your partner.
It’s a neat experience, as well as an indication of your lady’s interest in you, when she flirtatiously puts her hand on your knee. WOW!! Then, you can respond later by putting your arm around her waist and pulling her a little closer.
So how do you get to this point in your initial dating relationship? If a lady feels attracted to you, she may be the one to initiate the first physical contact.
But, if the lady seems to avoid your first advance at touching, how can you reach your desire for mutual closeness without creating a greater negative reaction on her part? Now, this where you need to practice finesse.
There is a popular dating theory that advises men to display their “macho” character and just “go for it”. When this happens, the lady will often feel uncomfortable or even “violated” and she will be even more apprehensive on future dates with other men.
On the other side of the coin, you can be too conservative in your encounter and refrain from any kind of touching. This may send negative signals to the lady where she subconsciously assumes that you are not really interested in her or that you are not “macho” enough.
There are a few basic actions you can take that should not be offensive to most of the gals or ladies you encounter and date. In using them as a guide, you will show that you are indeed a caring guy who wants his lady to feel comfortable and safe while in his presence.
One way to form a positive first impression and create an immediate bond with your date is to gently touch the outside of her right arm upon introducing yourself or get to talking [in the event you are both standing, i.e., waiting to be seated, etc.]. It is even more important to maintain eye contact at all times during your introduction. Touching the outside of a woman’s arm is not intimate enough for this touching contact to cause her to feel uncomfortable or strange. Both eye contact and gently touching the outside of her right arm will send her a signal that you are someone special. Try it - you'll notice the benefits immediately.
If you are on a date or with a lady you are attracted to, you can follow the above suggestion. And if the occasion permits, for example, if she needs directions to make a telephone call, etc, you have an addition chance for touching contact by placing your hand on her shoulder or take her hand, drawing her a little closer, and gently turning her around so that she is facing the right direction to her desired destination. You might even accompany her a few steps in that direction.
When the time comes to say good night or good bye after you have made plans to meet again, give her a kiss on the cheek or both a hug and a kiss. Whether a new relationship or someone you care about, by making this gesture before you part with your lady friend, is always a great way of ensuring she remembers you and really cannot wait to see you again.
It is essential when meeting a person of interest face-to-face for the first time to establish a basic level of acceptable and mutual touching. This touching contact is essential and goes a long way in establishing the desired bond between you and your partner.
It’s a neat experience, as well as an indication of your lady’s interest in you, when she flirtatiously puts her hand on your knee. WOW!! Then, you can respond later by putting your arm around her waist and pulling her a little closer.
So how do you get to this point in your initial dating relationship? If a lady feels attracted to you, she may be the one to initiate the first physical contact.
But, if the lady seems to avoid your first advance at touching, how can you reach your desire for mutual closeness without creating a greater negative reaction on her part? Now, this where you need to practice finesse.
There is a popular dating theory that advises men to display their “macho” character and just “go for it”. When this happens, the lady will often feel uncomfortable or even “violated” and she will be even more apprehensive on future dates with other men.
On the other side of the coin, you can be too conservative in your encounter and refrain from any kind of touching. This may send negative signals to the lady where she subconsciously assumes that you are not really interested in her or that you are not “macho” enough.
There are a few basic actions you can take that should not be offensive to most of the gals or ladies you encounter and date. In using them as a guide, you will show that you are indeed a caring guy who wants his lady to feel comfortable and safe while in his presence.
One way to form a positive first impression and create an immediate bond with your date is to gently touch the outside of her right arm upon introducing yourself or get to talking [in the event you are both standing, i.e., waiting to be seated, etc.]. It is even more important to maintain eye contact at all times during your introduction. Touching the outside of a woman’s arm is not intimate enough for this touching contact to cause her to feel uncomfortable or strange. Both eye contact and gently touching the outside of her right arm will send her a signal that you are someone special. Try it - you'll notice the benefits immediately.
If you are on a date or with a lady you are attracted to, you can follow the above suggestion. And if the occasion permits, for example, if she needs directions to make a telephone call, etc, you have an addition chance for touching contact by placing your hand on her shoulder or take her hand, drawing her a little closer, and gently turning her around so that she is facing the right direction to her desired destination. You might even accompany her a few steps in that direction.
When the time comes to say good night or good bye after you have made plans to meet again, give her a kiss on the cheek or both a hug and a kiss. Whether a new relationship or someone you care about, by making this gesture before you part with your lady friend, is always a great way of ensuring she remembers you and really cannot wait to see you again.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Is Subliminal Learning An Easy Way To Achieve Self Improvement?
Have you ever wondered how a song got stuck in your head? Haven you ever wondered how a certain word came into your vocabulary even though you never remembered trying to use it purposefully? Could this be the effect of your unconscious exposure to subliminal learning?
Cited Research
An article in Wikipedia concerning to subliminal research highlights a series of laboratory experiments conducted by Robert Zajonc in the 1960s. In the experiments, subjects were exposed to various stimuli [Chinese characters, paintings, pictures of faces, geometric figures and auditory stimuli] for a very brief duration that could not be perceived consciously. They found that the subjects rated these objects more positively than the other characters which they had not seen. The article went on to state that subliminal effects were generally weak and unlikely to occur without controlled laboratory conditions. [1,2,3]
There are a lot of products available on the market today that claim they have subliminal messages encoded in their products. They talk about various “beats” that excite the learning centers of the brain which result in a magical acquisition of the specific subject matter.
However, the last sentence in the paragraph regarding a summary of the research above, clearly states, “that the subliminal effects were generally weak and unlikely to occur without controlled laboratory conditions.”
Scientists are finding that it is possible to accelerate the learning of some skills with the aid of subliminal learning. However, when learning complex skills such a language or mathematics, there is little evidence to support the value of subliminal learning programs.
Personal Learning Experience
It is a well known fact that we absorbed a lot of the knowledge that has shaped our personality before the age of three. The rest of our learning has been acquired through participation in the educational systems, other community institution and by experience relating to “trial and error.”
As we reach our adult years, we find some of this learning is now out dated; but continues to serves us in a negative way through false beliefs. To “unlearn” the beliefs is a task in itself. It is this author’s opinion that subliminal learning programs would be of little value in replacing our old beliefs with new desired ones. Some authors like to refer to this situation as running an anti-virus program on your computer. These programs effectively remove the viruses but they don’t install any new programs. Before the days of the computer, I liked to use the analogy of washing the blackboard. Remember how the chalk dust would adhere to the blackboard until the blackboard was almost gray if someone hadn’t taken the time to literally wash it? And how, after the blackboard washed, the new material was much clearer.
I end this article by stating, “That in the final analysis, we truly learn and retain knowledge through the conscious use of our five senses in the great and wondrous laboratory of life experience.”
[1]• ^ De Houwer, J., Hendrickx, H. & Baeyens, F. (1997). Evaluative learning with "subliminally" presented stimuli. Consciousness and Cognition, 6, 87-107.
[2]• ^ Zajonc, R.B. (1980). Feeling and thinking: Preferences need no inferences. American Psychologist, 35, 151-175.
[3]• ^ Bornstein, R.F. (1989) Exposure and affect: overview and meta-analysis of research, 1968-1987. Psychological Bulletin, 106, 265-289.
Cited Research
An article in Wikipedia concerning to subliminal research highlights a series of laboratory experiments conducted by Robert Zajonc in the 1960s. In the experiments, subjects were exposed to various stimuli [Chinese characters, paintings, pictures of faces, geometric figures and auditory stimuli] for a very brief duration that could not be perceived consciously. They found that the subjects rated these objects more positively than the other characters which they had not seen. The article went on to state that subliminal effects were generally weak and unlikely to occur without controlled laboratory conditions. [1,2,3]
There are a lot of products available on the market today that claim they have subliminal messages encoded in their products. They talk about various “beats” that excite the learning centers of the brain which result in a magical acquisition of the specific subject matter.
However, the last sentence in the paragraph regarding a summary of the research above, clearly states, “that the subliminal effects were generally weak and unlikely to occur without controlled laboratory conditions.”
Scientists are finding that it is possible to accelerate the learning of some skills with the aid of subliminal learning. However, when learning complex skills such a language or mathematics, there is little evidence to support the value of subliminal learning programs.
Personal Learning Experience
It is a well known fact that we absorbed a lot of the knowledge that has shaped our personality before the age of three. The rest of our learning has been acquired through participation in the educational systems, other community institution and by experience relating to “trial and error.”
As we reach our adult years, we find some of this learning is now out dated; but continues to serves us in a negative way through false beliefs. To “unlearn” the beliefs is a task in itself. It is this author’s opinion that subliminal learning programs would be of little value in replacing our old beliefs with new desired ones. Some authors like to refer to this situation as running an anti-virus program on your computer. These programs effectively remove the viruses but they don’t install any new programs. Before the days of the computer, I liked to use the analogy of washing the blackboard. Remember how the chalk dust would adhere to the blackboard until the blackboard was almost gray if someone hadn’t taken the time to literally wash it? And how, after the blackboard washed, the new material was much clearer.
I end this article by stating, “That in the final analysis, we truly learn and retain knowledge through the conscious use of our five senses in the great and wondrous laboratory of life experience.”
[1]• ^ De Houwer, J., Hendrickx, H. & Baeyens, F. (1997). Evaluative learning with "subliminally" presented stimuli. Consciousness and Cognition, 6, 87-107.
[2]• ^ Zajonc, R.B. (1980). Feeling and thinking: Preferences need no inferences. American Psychologist, 35, 151-175.
[3]• ^ Bornstein, R.F. (1989) Exposure and affect: overview and meta-analysis of research, 1968-1987. Psychological Bulletin, 106, 265-289.
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