Yin-Yangs and You [Part 2 of 3]

Dark Moods of Procrastination

As I sit down to write this article, my mood is dark with rather strong feelings of procrastination and/or lack of motivation. I realize that many of these feelings are supported by the disappointment I am experiencing from last week’s endeavors. In addition, I am also aware that I am allowing myself to be controlled into submission by not wanting to accomplish the mundane tasks that I need to take care of NOW.

Light Moods of Celebration

My life is busy and alive; and, yet, quite settled in other ways. The weekend before last was one of celebration, for no reason, a new adventure with new friends on a camping trip. It is truly invigorating to enjoy the freedom from the noisy stresses of city-life and being one with nature.

This memory changes the direction of my mood. Now, my mood and thoughts are high and clear.

Spring is in the air with cool nights and the lovely panorama of the greening of the new growth is just outside my window. Winter is just a fading memory of its cold icy weather mixed with snow.

Winter Days

The winter days of our moods, though dark and sometimes dreary, is a good time to ponder the new light and life of the approaching spring days filled with sunshine and new growth and the wondrous opportunities that it will bring into our lives.

Do you ever think about all those things you don't like about yourself? Bad habits, behaviors, attitudes you've been told are not nice; so many unhappy experiences that accumulate to make up our dark side. We all have these pockets of dark sides in our personalities which often spill over into our moods

Unfortunately, they are often suppressed, not to be recognized or embraced. Rather than admit it, we would prefer to say we don't suffer from any of these afflictions and suppress the negative aspect.

Conclusion

Herein lies the problem: What you deny owns you. So much vital energy is wasted in the automatic suppression of denial. In other words, “Deny it and what you resist will persist.” The same thing happens when you harbor negative thoughts about your circumstances and/or other people.

Likewise, what you accept with grace and gratitude serves to empower you and the abundance of vital energy is your gift.

Yin-Yangs and You [Part 1 of 3]

The ancient symbol of Yin and Yang encompasses all duality and pairs of opposites which are existent in all life. We have night and day, hot and cold, good and evil, love and hate, and every duality that exists in nature and in our emotional energies.

All serve a purpose. If you know this, you have the the secret key to integrate your yin-yangs, male and female, dark and light, and will be more able to experience the fullness of life as well as the wholeness of who you really are!

Repeating Cycles of Yin-Yang

Always remember the dark-side of night [yin] is always followed by the new light [yang] of the dawn of a new day. This cycle is repeated in the seasons of the year. The winter is an essential time of rest for the earth just as the night is a time for rest for us. The winter is followed by spring and the renewal of life just as the new day is the time for us to renew our lives.

Using Force Is Not a Good Solution

We all have our own private dark side. Many of us often suppress this dark side and its resulting feelings and/or emotions because of shame and guilt. We brazenly control this part of our being by forcing our dark side and its feelings and emotions either into submission or into hiding. Like the ostrich, we try to bury our head in the sand.

However, by using force as a strategy to hide our dark side, we ultimately give our dark side the power to control us because we are using our energies negatively.

Do we ever really succeed? The answer is a resounding “NO”. The use of force is not a valid tactic. The use of force only serves to bury your "dark side" even deeper within your sub-conscious while it also disrupts the harmonious flow of your inner peace.

Have you considered the possibility that the dark side of your being has you controlled into submission?

Part 2 of this essay

Come back next week for Part 2 next week to find out how you can avoid being controlled by your “dark side”.

Part 3 of this essay

Part 3 will describe the wondrous rewards you will have when you are free from the control of your emotional “dark side”.

The Ghetto of Mental and Emotional Attitudes

It is very easy to become a victim of mental and emotional attitudes that can have serious ramifications on one’s life. The desires for companionship, love and financial abundance can be hidden traps that lead one into unwanted stress as well as financial difficulty.

There are other pitfalls that effectively imprison one in this ghetto. The longer one is embroiled these negative mental and emotional attitudes, the easier it becomes to accept defeat and just become mentally and emotionally stagnant.

Our commercial system has become very impersonal and cold. It has become a system based on numbers and the law of the 1% to 5% making a purchase predicated on the appeal of the marketer. The greater the exposure the greater your sales will be regardless of the quality of your product.

One can but wonder when the breaking point of this impersonal and cold approach to the commercial enterprise will no longer be effective. It is this author’s feeling that this prevailing business attitude only serves to demoralize the public to a greater degree. And, thus, more people find themselves deeper in their negative mental and emotional attitudes.

This law of numbers also impacts the funding of medical and psychiatric programs as well. It costs less and it is easier and quicker to treat the symptoms of the disorder or disease rather than take the time and make the effort to effectively treat its cause. This is another way people are manipulated and held imprisoned in their mental and emotional attitudes.

Stated another way, it has been reported that many of the rehabilitation programs are designed to “keep the lid on the client’s behavior” rather than providing the support and encouragement they need to return to the mainstream of life. Many so-called advocacy organizations work in the short term, never daring to jeopardize their funding by pursuing the big picture, the their client’s dream.

When one thinks about it, whether going to the doctor’s office, the outpatient clinic, or the psychiatrist’s office, one is surrounded by others with similar disorders. Who was it that said ”Misery loves company.” This is certainly the place for plenty of company.

This becomes a comfortable place of refuge, friendships are made, there’s no challenge, and one will finds over time that they become nervous about venturing into mainstream activities, like interviewing for a job, or going back to their club. The longer one stays here, entrapped inside the ghetto of their negative mental and emotional attitudes, the harder it is to break out. Confidence disappears. People share stories of being victimized and discriminated against and this supports the growing sense that it’s too hard ‘out there’. One concludes they should stay right where they are.

Breaking out of any ghetto, whether it be one of financial poverty or of negative mental and emotional attitudes, takes courage and determination. It begins with accepting the responsibility to change your negative mental and emotional attitudes to ones that are positive. It requires identifying and discarding old beliefs that impede your path to balance and the peace of inner happiness.

You have this power to change your life by changing you mental and emotional attitudes. There are many free tools available on the Internet that will provide you with a good start on this path. Get motivated and take advantage of them.

Visit “Opportunities For self Improvement” if you want to find out more things about motivation.

Choosing the Right Companion - Things You Need To Know

When you are confronted with the problem of choosing the right companion, whether it be a long-term companion or a companion for life, there are some things you need to know.

Understand Yourself

The first thing is to understand yourself. This is vitally important. When you understand yourself, you are aware of the weaknesses you have that can affect you when you are choosing the right companion. A very simple example might be an instance where your boyfriend showers you with beautiful loving words and promises and/or gifts and flowers; something you never had before. Are you putting too much emphasis on this flattering attention?

You need to be aware that there are many who will take advantage of your weakness for special attention. This can be your downfall and change your life in ways you never dreamed of. You have nothing to lose by keeping your guard on at all times; even when you might think you can trust the situation.

Understand Your Gal/Guy

Okay. Now you are in a much better position to understand your gal/guy.

 What are the motives behind in this display of gifts?

 Are his/her actions consistent with their words.

 Are his/her words consistent?

 Do the words used and/or the body language reveal any hint of a hidden agenda? If there is any hint of a hidden agenda, don’t make any commitment without knowing if this is something minor that you can accept or signs of a major problem yet to surface.

 Does he/she have an ego that is offensive?

 Is he/she overbearing in their demeanor?

 Is he/she jealous?

 Is he/she an angry person?

 Do you have any particular intuitive feelings of warning regarding a relationship with this person?

These questions will help you sort out and discard some of the “dating game hype” that often takes place during courtship.

It is essential for you to assume full and complete responsibility at this point. Your future life and emotional well being is at risk.

Careful answers to these questions may help you to avoid the painful experience of a broken marriage possibly with children you that must be cared, both physically and financially, for in the future. Not only is your life affected but those of your children; and, even their children will often carry these scars in the sub conscious part of their being and pass them on for many generations.

What If?

If you allow yourself to be “blinded” with infatuation, you are taking a risk that can result in several different but painful scenarios which can both be physically abusive and as well as emotionally abusive:

 Drug use of any frequency or kind of drug used;

 Alcoholism;

 Venereal disease [STD’s] or history of frequent STD’s including the AID’s virus;

 Any kind of physical abuse or family history of physical abuse;

 Any family history of child abuse. This is especially important if you a single parent with children;

 Authoritarianism or the tendency to be always in control;

 Low self esteem which results in belittling you in front of others and/or in private;

 Immaturity;

 Co-dependency;

 Any suspected emotional disorder such as depression, anxiety, etc.;

 Differences in cultural backgrounds, especially those of religious differences and/or ethnicity.

While this list does not cover everything, it should help you take another look at your weaknesses as well as help to make a good decision in choosing the right companion for you.

It will save you a lot of distress if you can walk away from any of these situations. Take whatever time you need. Just do not let infatuation and or fear of your own situation bias your decision in choosing the right companion.

Breaking Up Is Not Easy

There are two sides of breaking up: one aspect is not so good or pleasant and the other side can be a “blessing-in-disguise”.

Let’s take the “not-so-good” aspect first. Breaking up from a committed or long-term relationship is very much like experiencing grief and going through the same grieving stages one experiences when the grim-reaper has claimed one of their loved ones.

In either situation, the reality soon sets in. And, one is left to face loneliness, the loss of companionship, the touching experience of affectionate hugs, etc.

Like many things in life, the grief associated with breaking up can be like the glass of water that is half empty or half full. I have known many people who seem to enjoy their pain and anguish as they live and re-live their “poor me” story.

After one has recovered from the shock and trauma of breaking up; one can heal very nicely by realizing that breaking up is in the best interest of both parties. If this were not the case, it wouldn’t have happened.

Why do we cling to something that will only bring us unhappiness? Is it because any change of this nature takes us out of our comfort zone? But to remain in this “so-called” comfort zone, we become static. Apathy, with all its depression, despair, and other negative attributes, actually becomes our way of life.

Life goes on and will pass us by if we continue to dwell on the past and dream about of what might have been. As I stated before, in all probability, breaking up is a “blessing-in-disguise”. Remember, even if you don’t think so now, “Everything in life truly happens for the best.”

Now is the time for you to acquire new friends and new interests. Be happy and joy your new freedom.

Do You Have A Dream?

What do you think about when you see or hear the word, dream?

Like many people living in the US, I recall Dr. Martin Luther’s famous speech in which he emphatically states, “I have a dream.” In this instance, it was a motivational “call to arms” directed to the victims of social bias to have the courage to stand up and claim their rights of freedom to the “good life”.

Many other people are concerned about the meaning of the dreams they experience while sleeping. They pay a great deal of attention to the various possible meanings of their dreams, even to the extent of spending a lot of money for self hypnosis programs and/or other literature to learn how to interpret their dreams.

As a layman, I believe our fascination with dreams is a part of our evolutionary heritage similar to fear. Much of the mythology, that shapes our lives today, was based on the dreams/visions of the Shaman.

And, my belief is basically supported by Wikipedia, and I quote: “Throughout history, people have sought meaning in dreams or divination through dreams.”

Wikipedia goes on to say, “Dreams have also been described physiologically as a response to neural processes during sleep; psychologically as reflections of the subconscious; and spiritually as messages from gods, the deceased, predictions of the future, or from the Soul. Many cultures practice dream incubation with the intention of cultivating dreams that are prophetic or contain messages from the divine.”

It is these thoughts about the meaning of dreams; divination through dreams and about the relationship of dreams and spirituality that captures the commercial entrepreneur’s interest and subsequent exploitation.

Some entrepreneurs feel that lucid dreaming holds an important key to one’s life. Accordingly, programs and audio CDs have been created to help clients/customers to develop and incorporate this strategy as a daily practice.

One form of lucid dreaming involves the dream of absent-minded transgression (DAMT). This is a dream where the dreamer absentmindedly performs an action that they have been trying to stop. Sometimes they experience feelings of intense guilt. My own experience of the phenomenon occurred several years after I quit smoking. Occasionally, I would wake up sitting at the edge of the bed smelling and tasting the pleasure of a cigarette. It was so realistic, I was not sure whether it was a dream or a real experience.

Dream recall is a skill that can be acquired through training and is often used in psychotherapy with the patient being required to maintain a dream journal. Thus, some entrepreneurs feel that being able to recall dreams is important and so a new market for dream recall training books, audio CDs and dream journal diaries has been created to satisfy this desire for personal growth.

According to surveys, many people feel that their dreams serve to predict their future. Psychologists explain this as selective memory. We remember the good dreams and quickly forget the “bad” dreams. Experiments have been conducted that support this theory.

The beginning of this article described dreams as being [physiological] responses to neural processes during sleep and [psychologically] as reflections of our subconscious.

It is important to remember that when and if you decide to attempt to interpret your dreams, you do so for your own entertainment and to perhaps satisfy your own curiosity about “Who you really are.” There is great debate as to whether or not self-hypnosis, bi-neural beats, and other technologies are effective tools in helping to achieve this knowledge of ourselves or are they like placebos?

An Old Man Who is Young!

From: Sugna Tolani
Subject: Fw: An Old Man Who is Young! ( PLZ 4WARD 2 AS MANY PPL AS U CAN )

Subject: An Old Man Who is Young!

I felt this one should be shared. I love each of you and I want you to know that this day. We never know what tomorrow will bring; case in point - Japan.

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in GRASS VALLEY, CA. it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.
One nurse took her copy to Missouri.

The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.


Crabby Old Man...

What do you see nurses? . . .. . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. . . . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . .. with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . .. . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . .. . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . . . and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . . Look closer . .. . see ME!!


Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.

We will all, one day, be there, too!

PLEASE SHARE THIS POEM

The best and most beautiful things of this world can't be seen or touched. They must be felt by the heart ……. The “spirit” within ………