Choosing the Right Companion - Things You Need To Know

When you are confronted with the problem of choosing the right companion, whether it be a long-term companion or a companion for life, there are some things you need to know.

Understand Yourself

The first thing is to understand yourself. This is vitally important. When you understand yourself, you are aware of the weaknesses you have that can affect you when you are choosing the right companion. A very simple example might be an instance where your boyfriend showers you with beautiful loving words and promises and/or gifts and flowers; something you never had before. Are you putting too much emphasis on this flattering attention?

You need to be aware that there are many who will take advantage of your weakness for special attention. This can be your downfall and change your life in ways you never dreamed of. You have nothing to lose by keeping your guard on at all times; even when you might think you can trust the situation.

Understand Your Gal/Guy

Okay. Now you are in a much better position to understand your gal/guy.

 What are the motives behind in this display of gifts?

 Are his/her actions consistent with their words.

 Are his/her words consistent?

 Do the words used and/or the body language reveal any hint of a hidden agenda? If there is any hint of a hidden agenda, don’t make any commitment without knowing if this is something minor that you can accept or signs of a major problem yet to surface.

 Does he/she have an ego that is offensive?

 Is he/she overbearing in their demeanor?

 Is he/she jealous?

 Is he/she an angry person?

 Do you have any particular intuitive feelings of warning regarding a relationship with this person?

These questions will help you sort out and discard some of the “dating game hype” that often takes place during courtship.

It is essential for you to assume full and complete responsibility at this point. Your future life and emotional well being is at risk.

Careful answers to these questions may help you to avoid the painful experience of a broken marriage possibly with children you that must be cared, both physically and financially, for in the future. Not only is your life affected but those of your children; and, even their children will often carry these scars in the sub conscious part of their being and pass them on for many generations.

What If?

If you allow yourself to be “blinded” with infatuation, you are taking a risk that can result in several different but painful scenarios which can both be physically abusive and as well as emotionally abusive:

 Drug use of any frequency or kind of drug used;

 Alcoholism;

 Venereal disease [STD’s] or history of frequent STD’s including the AID’s virus;

 Any kind of physical abuse or family history of physical abuse;

 Any family history of child abuse. This is especially important if you a single parent with children;

 Authoritarianism or the tendency to be always in control;

 Low self esteem which results in belittling you in front of others and/or in private;

 Immaturity;

 Co-dependency;

 Any suspected emotional disorder such as depression, anxiety, etc.;

 Differences in cultural backgrounds, especially those of religious differences and/or ethnicity.

While this list does not cover everything, it should help you take another look at your weaknesses as well as help to make a good decision in choosing the right companion for you.

It will save you a lot of distress if you can walk away from any of these situations. Take whatever time you need. Just do not let infatuation and or fear of your own situation bias your decision in choosing the right companion.